A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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