What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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