One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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