A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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I'm homeless.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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