Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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