What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops