a irish man walks past a bar

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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2 gay guys walk into the bar guy #1 say lets get drunk guy #2 says lets get wasted then #1 says... what do they do fall on the floor and do it.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops