why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Donald Trump

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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