So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops