Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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someone called someone else a frog

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops