What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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