Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Your big dick.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Gay rights.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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