Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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GOODBYE

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pudding

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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