How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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womens rights.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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