Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...