What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops