What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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