Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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