NEVER

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

Yes

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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