- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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