What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops