If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops