Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

ewrg

You know what's addicting? Heroine.

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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