OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops