What do you call a black man? Rob

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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