Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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Anti-Joke Chicken

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