What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

Please ignore this statement.

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

Vagina Boob

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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