Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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Science debated on whether Dinosaur hide was like leather But though quite absurd They thought, like a bird Velociraptor was covered in feathers.

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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