What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops