Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Waffles ate my grandma

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops