Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Hi.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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