If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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