What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

If life gives you lemonade.

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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