- Anti Joke

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.