So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Racial Equality

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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