How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

Whats brown and smells bad poo

A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

asians have slitted eyes lol

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

Roses are red Im adopted

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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