A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -17

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

HELLO EVERYONE

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You should put some sand in your vagina to make the crabs feel more at home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops