What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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whats green and lives in the water

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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