Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops