What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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