If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops