Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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quantum physics?

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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