- Anti Joke

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

How does a black guy die? Unknown

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

A praying mantis is very graceful

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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