Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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A whole 'nother.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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