I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

Who does creatine? James Cornish

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

jews

What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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