What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops