Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops