What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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