What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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