An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops