What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops