A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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One, two, three, four and five

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Jesus Christ

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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