What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Columbine Massacre

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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