Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

One, two, three, four and five

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops