An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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